China House

20 Stone Pine Rd C

Half Moon Bay, Ca 94019

Located within Half Moon Bay's sole strip-mall-esque space comprised of other various restaurants, China House sticks out, for better and worse.

Vegetable Chow Mein 4/5

I must admit, skepticism abounded as I walked towards the front door of what appeared to be crackhouse Chinese food. Not to say the food is nasty, which we'll get to later, but the building's logo was hideous, uninviting, and rather menacing.

But courage looks down on the weak so I stepped through those black-tinted doors hiding god-knows-what and was greeted by a rather simple yet elegantly monochromatic restaurant. I was quickly seated by a kind waiter who left me alone to ponder my existence for a few minutes, but not before dropping off a reasonably priced menu. With a chicken plate averaging about $9, this place aims to bring in the averagely curious American family looking for that step above Panda Express.

Food arrived shortly afterwards, a plate of sweet and sour shrimp, orange chicken, and the mildly esoteric spicy eggplant with pork. My advice, wait 5 minutes for the food to cool, helps to build the appetite and character, for what is man without food and morality? A monkey.

To begin with, the orange chicken. It may just be me, but Panda Express has shaped the way I think of Chinese food. It's not that their food is great, but there's something about that orange chicken that's both sweet and flavorful, but not to the point of making you think "I'm eating an orange". China House played to that latter observation to the T. Though the chicken itself juicily snapped through my teeth, I couldn't help shaking that orange-rind sting from every bite, making me regret the day I ever went to Panda. 3.5/5

Seafood, ever the delicacy the world over, did not disappoint in this case, sweet and sour shrimp. With fat prawns comes fat flavor and these crunched right through the accompanying mouthful of rice, a pair made in heaven. In fact, it was too perfect as I quickly realized my plate only held about 5 pieces of shrimp. As I looked at that final piece, I realized the barbarity of my situation as the mound of overly-sweet steaming leftover sauce would have to go somewhere, but not on more shrimp. 4/5

And finally, the curveball, spicy eggplant with pork . I must admit, when the pork dish landed, I thought "wrong order", for it looked nothing like pork, but rather thinly sliced chicken. But upon the first bite, the pork taste came, initially not overpoweringly salty like you would expect in pork fried rice, but subtle and chewy. This dish was a rarity, as the meat was not the principal character, but merely a part of the complementary cast for the one-hitter-quitter, the eggplant. At once firm, yet supple and soft to the touch, the eggplant seemed to have absorbed the brunt of the sauce used and kicked around my mouth with unceasing flavor and charisma. What does that mean? Even I don't know, but this was not a dish to forget. Top it all off with a few grains of rice to wash away the leftover taste and each successive bite of the eggplant floods the mouth anew. My only issue? The pork saltiness I long feared eventually came back and tingled my taste buds, some may like it, but I could have done without it. Perhaps if the dish was made with chicken, it would have been a different story. 4.2/5